A New Hearth, A New Home

The last few weeks have been a bit busy. I found a new apartment the day after I wrote my last entry and while we're mostly moved in now, some things still need work.

The whole apartment hunting and application process was a huge lesson in faith and trust in the Goddess for me. I know that sounds a little strange in the Craigslist-driven, money revolving world of apartment renting, but it's true for me. I've always been cautious when it comes to putting all my hopes in one basket as they usually fall apart at that point. So when I had only found one decent apartment for every two weeks of searching, I found that focusing my need and asking the Goddess for help getting through the process made a huge difference. I didn't dwell on anything and with the amazing backyard I knew the Goddess wanted me here.

Our first week in the new place also got me talking with the other half about paganism and Heathenism while we were without internet. I knew he was open to my alternative spiritual views, but didn't know he had any interest, even though his interest is limited more to the symbolism, celebrations and lore than a belief system. This makes me really excited to learn and share with him as Heathenism keeps coming up on my spiritual radar as of late.

Another exciting aspect to this new apartment is our backyard. It is shared with the 3 other units in the building, but from what I can tell, no one uses anything more than the patio area. Plus, when we signed the lease the landlord kept saying he wished someone would do something with it. My other half was enamored with the yard from the first site of it and upon exploration we found a planter box that needed a little love. After a few hours and a good session with his dad's rototiller, our planter box now has peppers, tomatoes, garlic and onions growing with basil and marigolds to be added soon. I also found a great spot to turn into a garden altar. I'm so excited to not be confined to an inside spot for my ritual work anymore.

Conquering the planter box.

All in all, this place has a wonderful positive energy to it and I know that the Goddess blessed me with a wonderful new home.

Altars and Sacred Spaces

One thing I have been lacking for the past year and a half is an altar space of my own. I had to give mine up when I moved back in with my parents briefly. They wouldn't have understood and probably would have tried to have me exorcized or something since I had set up an "occult item" in their home. When I came back to California I ended up staying with my boyfriend in his tiny room, and whileI did set up a shrine of sorts on the kitchen table, that table has also been servering as my desk and thus is not as sacred as I'd like it to be.

Now that we are in the process of looking for a new place a live I am excited as this means I will be able to set up an altar again. I keep browsing sites for inspirations and there's quite a few new additions to my Pinterest Pagan board. All of these ideas keep me wondering and thinking about how I want to set up my space when I finally can again.

The World Awakens

The wheel turns and the seasons change. The light that returned to the world at Imbolc has grown and the signs of new life are everywhere. I love love watching the trees outside my house at this time of year. They blossom and then the petals fall off only to be replaced by new leaves. All the new green and freshly opened flowers tell me one thing: Ostara is on the way.

Living in the Bay Area, we barely have what most people would call a winter. The trees barely loose all their leaves before they start to regrow them. But our elongated spring has one advantage, we can easily take note of all the little changes occurring in nature without being overwhelmed by them. And this year I have been making an extra effort to notice these small changes in the world around me. As a result, I am mildly consumed by an interest in having a really good Ostara celebration this year. In fact, it mirrors the same drive I had to celebrate Mabon six months ago. And that seems fitting to me.

Scouring the web and any books I don't have packed away in another state for Ostara ideas has been very fulfilling. Although I've mostly come across topics saying to paint eggs, hold an egg hunt, etc., there have been a few interesting ideas. Planting seeds during ritual, making an offering spot in your garden, remembering Persephone's return from the Underworld have all been ideas that have interested me. Especially the planting and gardening. (I have been wanting a garden for many years and actually have an idea on how to have a successful window garden that is cat proof.)

We'll just have to wait three weeks and see where the Goddess guides me.

Light in the Darkness

Imbolc Altar

Two sabbats have come and gone since my last post. I had a wonderful little Yule set up on my table and found the perfect bouquet of flowers for Imbolc. Sadly I was not as actively involved with each sabbat as I would have liked. I got sucked into helping my roommate buy gifts for his daughter for Christmas and ended up pulling extra shifts at work on Imbolc. Perhaps Ostara will see me with a bit more time for observance here at home.

However, I am going to the Sierras this weekend for a few days and think that I will take the opportunity to welcome the light back to the world while I am there. This will also be the first time I have had the opportunity to preform a ritual or observance in the snow. The Bay Area rarely gets any snow and it's never truly that cold or dark. Also, I'm turning 30 this year and I feel that I should dedicate my time and effort to improving myself, my relationships and my life. Last summer's trip to Milsap Bar on the Feather River was rejuvenating and allowed me to get in touch with a specific aspect of nature. I feel that getting in touch with another aspect of nature will only open me up further to my own spiritual growth.

Now to look up some rituals (outdoor preferably) that are meant for a snowy place and welcome the light back into the world.

As the Veil Thins

As the days grow closer to Samhain I can feel it. I awoke this morning with a cheerful disposition and found that it was pleasantly foggy and misty outside. Just my kind of morning. That is one thing I miss about being up north in Washington, the cool mornings where curling up with a warm tasty beverage and reading were the thing to do. However, rather than reading books this year I have been reading up on Samhain traditions and am trying to plan another ritual. However, this year's ritual will not be as extravagant as last year's was due to the confined quarters in which I currently reside. I don't know how well the roommates would respond to me doing a full on ritual and I wouldn't be able to have the privacy or quiet I would need for such an undertaking. So the most I am going for will be meditating on my loved ones who have passed, creating a small altar for them, most likely baking something, and doing a tarot reading.

Speaking of rituals, I actually came across and new incense that's perfect for rituals. It's the Sapphire—Devotion one from Magnifiscents. It blends wonderful scents of sandalwood, clove, benzoin, and spices that reminds me of my favorite occult shop. Ideally I'd love to make my own incense, but f that's not an option, this one is a great filler. Also sandalwood is used for purification, clove is useful for vision and cleansing, benzoin provides focus, and spices add to the mystery of the divine. I also believe that incense is a great way to represent air and to induce meditation.

If I don't write again, have a blessed Samhain.

Opening the Book

As Autumn is arriving and the house has been cleaned, there is an energy in the air that has my creative and spiritual juices flowing.

For the past few days I have been working on a painting for my boyfriend for his birthday this weekend. I'm really proud of what I accomplished in it. When I finished the piece today I had excess energy and momentum left over from it. In addition, I recently brought back several of my books on paganism and magic and have been feeling drawn to the subject matter contained within them. Thus upon finishing the painting I started doing research on various magical and spiritual topics.

I started by researching Mabon practices and rituals and found myself moving onto an article about how to create a Book of Shows while being a broke college student. This article got me thinking about my own BoS and my desire to have one. Now I do have a book into which I started writing my BoS two years ago. But so far all I have in it is the Wiccan Reede and the Charge of the Goddess. It's a good start, but I'm stumped on how I want to organize it and this is why I have not progressed further on it. However, after reading Luna's article I have a few ideas for going about collecting the information and starting my BoS while still giving myself time to decide on how to organize the written version. So Now to make a digital BoS and figue out what exactly I want in my written BoS.

A Time of Balance and Reflection

Recently the Dalai Lama made a post to Facebook that seems to have resonated with most everyone I know. It goes as follows:

"All the world’s major religions, with their emphasis on love, compassion, patience, tolerance, and forgiveness can and do promote inner values. But the reality of the world today is that grounding ethics in religion is no longer adequate. This is why I am increasingly convinced that the time has come to find a way of thinking about spirituality and ethics beyond religion altogether."
—His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama, September 10, 2012

Of all the major religious leaders in the world today, the Dalai Lama's message of universal peace and compassion resonate the most with me. This statement above comes as leaders in the religion I grew up in condem the works of the modern world more and more. This condemnation just makes them seem more out of touch with the world than they already are perceived as being.

The Dalai Lama's comments combine with the approach of Mabon and its emphasis on balance in life and self reflection make this an especially personal Mabon for me. I have come to find out that my other half is incredibly supportive of me Pagan leanings. (I think it helps that his aunt is Pagan.) I do feel that in many aspects od my life I have been blessed.

Last year I wanted to start observing Sabbats on a more regular schedule, rather than when I remember to. I think first I need to bring the Goddess and God into my life more. Previously I was envisioning grand rituals honoring each sabbat, but I think finding ways to incorporate the Lord and Lady into my daily life is a smarter decision. As I was always told, "start small and work your way up."

With this mindset I want to find some small ways I can incorporate Mabon into my normal life at this time of year. Given that I have been working on getting my boyfriend's kitchen into more of a "witchy" atmosphere I don't think this will be very hard. 

Mabon Altar

What's in a Book of Shadows?

Something I have been wanting to do for quite some time is create my own Book of Shadows. I have many books on my shelf that I use as resources, but I wanted my own book that kept all of the knowledge, rituals, spells, etc that I use in one easy to find place. I actually started making my own a year ago or so. I got a non-descript black book and wrote down the 'Charge of the Goddess' and the 'Witches Reede.' I felt these were good starting points to start my BoS off with. However, from there I am not sure how to proceed. How do I want to organize my BoS? What should I put in it? How do I factor in room for things that I have yet to learn and may wish to include at a later time?

To help me plan and undertake this endeavor I turned to the internet. I found may great sites talking about the ordering, layout, and creation of your BoS, but relatively little about the exact information mentioned in a BoS. As a solitary and someone still learning the pagan ways, being able to see what is inside someone else's BoS word for word would be extremely helpful.

I had bookmarked the Internet Sacred Text Archive over a year ago when I first did research for how to make a BoS, but I had never really looked into it that much until today. with little effort I was able to find both the Internet Book of Shadows and the Gardenieran Book of Shadows. Both are full text copies and in 12pt Verdana the IBoS is 447 pages long in MS Word. So now I have a lot of material to review.

Lesons From Last Night

The ritual I performed last night was eye opening. I learned a few very important lessons about conducting a ritual that I need to work on.

First off—plan your ritual ahead of time! I had a general idea last night of what I wanted to do, but the exact order was not planned out and found myself constantly going outside my circle to get something I forgot to place inside the circle before I started. I'm sure this alone aded to the overall length of such a simple ritual.

Second, I need to rehearse my wording. I'm still learning and growing and have not yet memorized the invocations and wording or written my own ritual. I kept tripping over my own words and invoking the same things over and over while forgetting other. This too added to the length of the ritual.

The third things was to have a raised up working space. I'm currently using a try placed on a cloth on the ground to define my scared working space. While I have no issue sitting on the ground for the ritual, bending over everything all the time took it's toll on my back. Even a small, low table would work and make doing magical work more efficient.

My Samhain Altar

Lastly, I found that I need to test how any herbs I use will burn before I burn them. I wrote down negative aspects I wished to be gone in the coming year on bay leaves and attempted to burn them. The leaves didn't burn well and they smelled atrocious. I ended up grinding up my leaves, aded some patchuli and put that mixure in the fire this morning (we heat the house with a wood stove.)

I feel that overall my ritual last night was a resounding success and something much needed. It has given me strength and motivation, both things I was lacking in recent weeks.

May the Lady and Lord watch over us all in the new year!

A Hallowed Eve

My Cat-o-Lantern

This year I have felt a strong yearning to participate in Samhain rituals and observances. I've felt it very keenly for the past few weeks, even before my move. I think it is a way of my spirit telling me that it needs to realign itself with the natural world and start the new year with a grounded perspective. As a result I've been doing some Samhain research and looking for ways I can celebrate it in my highly Catholic parents' house without offending my mom who blames people falling away from the Church as a result of "new age" and "occult" ideas. I already had to fend her off years ago and try as I might  I have yet to properly educate her on the differences between "new age," "occult" and "paganism."

My ideas so far are consisting of:

• a private ritual in my room this evening
• baking pumpkin bread as a celebration of the harvest
• placing candles in my window to guide spirits on their way
• offering apple cider
• scrying, tarot reading and/or runecasting
• making incense or bath salts for the sabbat

I would love to dress up, but I don't have a costume and my silly stupid game has an event I'm hosting at 7pm tonight. That and I told we don't get many trick-or-treaters around here so I'm not too sure of what will be going on around here this evening.

Whatever your plans for Samhain are I hope you fair well this hallowed eve.

Imbolc: Renewal Time

Having no formal affiliation with any specific tradition celebrating the sabbats is an interesting undertaking with me. As each sabbat passes I am more and more involved with my celebration of it. Tonight I have made a purification bathsalt and am about to make a spirit light to then light and take my bath by. I feel good doing these things—cleansing my spirit of the negativity it's dragging around and shining a light on where I want to be going.

Imbolc reminds us that light of spring is emerging from the dark of winter. So too must we bring ourselves out of the darkness we carry with us and emerge into the light of our true selves. This is done by renewing our goals and rekindling the fire that burns within each of us.