The craziness of the living situation has brought me to terms with something I only have a few years left to get started on: motherhood.
I still think of myself as young person but the truth is I'm pushing 30. Not saying 30 is old, but I know that once you pass 35ish the riskier it is to have children of your own. Now I'm not married yet and the other half has stated that he's fine with being an older father. Plus, our career, financial and living situations are not what we would want if we did decide to have children. Several time throughout the last year I've been asked how long we've been married or how many kids we have and most of the time it hasn't made me think twice. But with our 1 year anniversary of being an official couple (long story, but it only took 4 years for that to happen) and the roommate moving in as part of the divorce process from his wife and me getting to help with the little one really has me thinking about kids and what kind of mom I'd be.
There are thing you make note of as you grow up of what you do and do not want to repeat with your kids. Despite my normal adversion to children I have been keeping a list of my own. I know I want my kids to be in Scouts (both Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts) as I like the opportunities my brother and I had as a result of being involved with them. I'd like to get my kids into wall climbing and maybe yoga. (Talk about cool physical activities that don't make you feel like you suck because you can never hit the ball when at bat!) I also know that I don't want to force a specific religion on my children. Rather I want to expose them to a variety of belief systems and teach them to decide and choose for themselves. However, I know that I want to observe pagan celebrations and involve them in it.
Yes, that is forcing a specific set of religious beliefs on them, but I feel that the pagan wheel of the year lines up better with secular seasonal observances than anything else. Plus the Wheel of the year is a great way to teach kids about the seasons and introduce them to different activities associated with each. And helping my roommate celebrate the holidays with his daughter is making me want one of my own. I know I'm not ready to pass into the cycle of life where one enters the aspect of the Mother from that of the Maiden, but life seems to be telling me it's time.
