Path as a Concept

A path is a conceptually interesting thing. It both guides and distracts. It can be well worn or long forgotten. You can leave it and come back and find it again. However, the most interesting thing I feel about any path is that a path is a unique experience to all who traverse it.

I have been trying for a long time to find and walk my own path, free of outside influences and expectations. I believe I am on that path currently, but it's not been easy. The people closest to me are supportive and loving and those I am not so close with tend to be respectful of my path for the most part. Finally owning my own vehicle has helped clear up my path a little bit as it has lessoned the obligations to people other than myself. Yet, I my path has led me to new obligations that I know I am being entirely selfish about.

I've stated it before and I'll say it again, I'm a dreamer. I'm not the person who likes to go out and take charge. I'd rather tag along and see all the possibilities that lie before, rather than being focused on achieving the goal. It's something my meditations and working have revealed to me about myself and I embrace it. However, it turns me into the stubborn Aries that I am inside. And right now that nature is manifesting itself in a way that could be detrimental to my future. Namely, I don't want to be the only one of my new roommates looking for a place to live. But the God and Goddess have always guided me and I know when something is right as a result. And being selfish right now and holding on for a day or two is not hurting. Given that today is the First Quarter, there will be growing success starting tomorrow.

This whole post may have turned into a self justification for not taking charge today, but every now and again the Lady and Lord will remind you to be true to yourself.

Comet Pan STARRS March 2013

Lunar Chaos and Winter Retreats

Winter Moon

As much as I love the Moon (as a kid I wanted to be an Apollo astronaut when I grew up, moonstone is my gemstone of choice, etc) the passing of a full moon always seems to bring a bit of chaos to my life. Last night was the Snow Moon and while yesterday was nice a peaceful, this morning has been quite chaotic. I feel klutzier than normal. Timing things is not working in my favor. And the one thing I really want to do on my day off I keep getting interrupted when I try to do—study magic and paganism.

The last one probably bothers me the most. The others are all trivial and in the long run won't matter. But having a good environment to study my craft is important for both learning the material correctly and for my mental well being. I've noticed that my studies bring me a peace of mind I have a hard time finding in our chaotic little house. They also remove me from the craziness of out modern, digitally driven world. And trust me, that can be a very hard thing to accomplish with 4 people running in and out of the kitchen you use as a study.

Recently we took a trip up to the Tahoe area for a few days. Staying in the cabin in the snow was wonderful for the most part. I was granted sight of the beauty that the goddess' touch leaves on the world in early morning. The cabin we were at was next to a creek. Meditating beside the creek and taking in the natural world was wonderful. However, any peace I tried to carve out was constantly shattered by my roommate's 3 year old daughter he brought on the trip. Granted, he was the organizer of the trip and had the cabin connection, but when there's only one kid and the rest of the people are unmarried and childless for a reason, this makes for a less than relaxing vacation.

One thing I did get out of that trip was a huge resurgence in my desire to study the devine and strengthen my connection with the Lady and Lord. I should probably take note from a post I came across this morning on the blog A Heathen's Path regarding Practice Makes Perfect. The post discusses making time and finding ways to observe our spiritual traditions in a world that consumes all our free time and doesn't reflect our beliefs. My efforts so far have been to read blogs and other sources regarding rituals, sabbats, spells, lore, etc. while having breakfast, maintaining a small altar space on the table I use as a desk, taking note of the blossoms and leaves on the trees outside my window, etc. It does bring me peace to notice these things, I just wish I had more time to devote to them. As the title of that post says practice makes perfect and in time, with some dedication, I'm sure I can settle into a few routines of my own.

Lesons From Last Night

The ritual I performed last night was eye opening. I learned a few very important lessons about conducting a ritual that I need to work on.

First off—plan your ritual ahead of time! I had a general idea last night of what I wanted to do, but the exact order was not planned out and found myself constantly going outside my circle to get something I forgot to place inside the circle before I started. I'm sure this alone aded to the overall length of such a simple ritual.

Second, I need to rehearse my wording. I'm still learning and growing and have not yet memorized the invocations and wording or written my own ritual. I kept tripping over my own words and invoking the same things over and over while forgetting other. This too added to the length of the ritual.

The third things was to have a raised up working space. I'm currently using a try placed on a cloth on the ground to define my scared working space. While I have no issue sitting on the ground for the ritual, bending over everything all the time took it's toll on my back. Even a small, low table would work and make doing magical work more efficient.

My Samhain Altar

Lastly, I found that I need to test how any herbs I use will burn before I burn them. I wrote down negative aspects I wished to be gone in the coming year on bay leaves and attempted to burn them. The leaves didn't burn well and they smelled atrocious. I ended up grinding up my leaves, aded some patchuli and put that mixure in the fire this morning (we heat the house with a wood stove.)

I feel that overall my ritual last night was a resounding success and something much needed. It has given me strength and motivation, both things I was lacking in recent weeks.

May the Lady and Lord watch over us all in the new year!